Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
