dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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