Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
