A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I look better un-naked...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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