Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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