this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
