yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
