He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
