Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
