just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So I just went to clothing optional bar
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
