OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
