I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
