I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
