Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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