need another drink. this is the easiest way
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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