he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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