Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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