Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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