I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
