Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
