I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Who died my cat blue again?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
