Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
