I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
