glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
