garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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