All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
where are you?
Hypothermia
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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