I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
