Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
vagina is talking i cant
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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