youre lurking in front of me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
