Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
