Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize
