he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
