Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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