Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
