whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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