You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
