Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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