lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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