My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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