WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
