oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
