She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
