The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
