just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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