So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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