dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Randomize
