Need sex. Gaining weight.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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