Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he wants to bone in the snuggie
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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