Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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