She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
